Fewer lulz, moar BAAWWs

So I had a pretty decent weekend. I slept enough, was entertained enough, and was prepared enough for Monday. Truth be told, I was actually looking forward to getting back my midterm exam in my modern Japanese history class because I was feeling real good about it. I worked hard preparing for this exam, put in a lot of hours studying, and had been taking diligent notes all semester. This test is significant because it is one of only three grades we get for the entire semester. So I'm sitting there, bright and eager-eyed, looking forward to having a bit of weight lifted from my shoulders - only to see in fat red scrawl across the top of my paper, C-. Yes, that is "sea-minus."

I took diligent notes all semester and studied them in conjunction with the texts plus some additional internet research - for hours and hours. And I get a C minus. And believe me, I wasn't the only voice after class muttering the word "bullshit" - how about some real guidelines of expectations, Prof.? That would be appreciated. Because basing answers on your fast and loose lectures clearly isn't enough.

 /end passive-aggressive grade rant

I don't even know what to do with myself anymore. I'm trying and trying but trying don't count for shit. No one can see "trying."

Truth be told, this probably feels even worse than it really is because my hormones are being assholes right now.

 

:x I kinda wanna credit these pictures I've used but I merely dug them out of the asshole of the internet, and don't even know what they were to begin with.

Lately:

KARA-FUCKIN'-OKE:

 

 

I really love going to Karaoke with my friends Kaitlin and Kelsey. They have great taste in music and great voices. We mainly sing older or just old music, songs from musicals/Disney, and Lady Gaga (don't be hatin'). But sometimes some other notable winners make the cut.

MEXICAN RESTAURANT FOUND

These are the directions from Tamachi if any of you local cats wanna go, lol. They read:

Tamachi station, via Yamanote Line, to Yoyogi station. Then follow the map for the foot path.

So we get to the restaurant, and I am so psyched up for anything RESEMBLING Mexican food that I start joking about how I'm going to maul the server like a bear before she can even get to the table with the food. And then when the food came I started making facial contortions while I was eating to express my joy. But mainly to make Kaitlin laugh.

 

And then laughed so hard I almost did a spit-take with my valuable spanish rice.

Pictured above with my artarded self at karaoke is my friend Kelsey. 

The cameraman for all these pictures is my friend Kaitlin 

...who was kind enough to derp for the camera for me at the restaurant. <3

...

Before there was homework, before there was getting up and making something to eat that's more substantial than slightly stale popcorn and a teaspoon's worth of instant ramen noodles (yes, they do make them in that size in Japan... take a look!), before there was even getting up to pee, there was...

Art by: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/

I swear, one day I will give myself time to get my homework done at a reasonable hour and actually write a real blog post. One day. *shake fist*

As a side note: Every time (and I do mean EVERY FREAKING TIME) I try to type "shake fist" I always miss-type "shake fish" first. Freudian or Fat-fingerian. The world may never know.

Doomy doom

I can tell when I've set myself up for failure, though typically only after it's too late to do anything about it. I charge through most things with a sort of blind faith and optimism in my abilities- and am always disappointed one way or another. This time it's classes. I championed through the first two weeks. Almost. It's not that my classes are especially HARD - perhaps a little bookish and there is a lot of homework involved, but I'm not particularly afraid of reading and writing a lot, if I can somehow twist the shape of the subject into something palatable to me. Like a nacho cheese pretzel, perhaps.

No, the problem herein lies in my "easy" class. The class is 80 minutes long and I spend 65 of those minutes staring at my desk doing nothing but holding up half of an awkward conversation with my work partner because the work is too easy for both of us. What takes most people in the class the full 5 to 10 minutes we're alloted to practice, my partner and I do in 30 seconds and then just sit there staring at the desk. "Weekend...?" "Tiring." "Heh, yeah. I'm tired, too." "Yeah, heh, tired." "...." - And we get to repeat this exercise in mental face palming, locked in place and forced against our will to interact every couple minutes. My conversation partner is extremely nice and I'm glad she knows the material as well as I do... But I'm sure she's as mind-numbingly bored as I am in class. Nonetheless, I've discovered that more than my harder classes where there is a lot more pressure for me to perform, the class I dread going to most is this one. I also hate the homework assignments which read something like "Approach a random Japanese person and ask them what their favourite kanji is!" or "Go to a salon and get your hair done, make sure you take before and after pictures and get a receipt!" or "Go to a public bathhouse! Make sure you get a receipt!" - the list goes on in a similar vein. The major caveat here is that I have absolutely zero desire to do any of these things. I wouldn't do most of these things in my own country, even. The only one I consider even remotely normal  and something I might actually do as a functional human being is the salon one - except that, honestly, I don't trust the "cheaper" Japanese salons (quotes because even the cheapest haircut seems to cost around 30 dollars) to do my hair right, because it's a very different texture than Japanese hair. My hair is so much flatter and thinner. I might trust a more upscale salon in a more international area where the hair dressers have likely had a variety of clientele -- but that would take the price somewhere from the typical "expensive" haircut straight on up to somewhere past astronomical. I should note though that I don't even trust most salons in my own country. I have a specific stylist I see, even. If it's that hard to coax what I want out of a hairdresser in my own country, speaking my native language, I am straight up terrified of what will happen to my hair in Japan, with Japanese hairdressers who are used to Asian hair, who I won't be able to communicate completely fluently with.

So, uhm. I haven't done my homework, yet. : / I've even looked at the syllabus and found ways to work it out so that I won't have to do some of these "cultural experience" assignments and still get an A in the class. That's how badly I hate the prospect of them and how much I long to avoid them.

TL;DR: I am completely incapable of most forms of random, unplanned, or forced social interaction without feeling like I am crumpling up and melting in acid internally from anxiety and a general sense of "do not want."

Hello Tokyo

So - I've been kinda-sorta neglecting making any real-live posts that are unrelated to studying or some other triviality, so let me spend my downtime (sick in bed again - my immune system just can't handle the germs of 60+ other people in a cramped dorm without just keeling over and dying with little more than a whimper) making a bona-fide blog post. I made it to Tokyo, and have been enduring orientation week at Temple which is like one part informational, and one part scare-tactics-slash-comedy. I know but two things for sure: Don't touch bicycles in Tokyo, and We're All Doomed to Die in an Earthquake. I THINK that was the general message, anyway. My dorm is pretty nice. My room is, as anticipated, narrow, but I've rather gotten used to living in a linen closet. A short trip or two to the 100 yen shop (dollar store) supplied me with enough plastic containers and random goods to turn this tiny space into a pretty well organized and well appointed pad. The only complaint I have is that if I leave a day's laundry on the floor, I pretty much lose any sight of the carpet, and leaving anything out at all makes the place look like it was shelled. Average sized messes in tiny spaces is kind of an exercise in square-pegging-round-holing. It just doesn't work. The community kitchen is decent and serviceable (aka I can cook there without wanting to kill myself before it comes to life and kills me first like other dorm-kitchen experiences I've had), and I like the living/dining area, and the dorm managers are really really nice. The only genuine complaint I have (gotta have at least one, mirite?) is the shower room. It kind of resembles what I imagine the love child of an airplane hanger and a real shower room would look like. Furthermore, it's gross. The floor is kinda slimy and the main shower's curtain has black mold and sludge all over it. That it was ever considered a place for getting clean almost seems anachronistic, or like a bad joke at best. In other, slightly more scholarly tuned news, I've taken all my placement tests and I placed exactly where I was aiming for in Japanese (Advanced II, yay :D), and managed to test out of having to take any math courses, but somehow ended up having to repeat English composition - the one exam I was so certain I wouldn't have any problems at all with. I don't know. After an Honors Comp/Lit class and two additional literature courses in college, you'd think I could string a few words together. C'est la vie : / Otherwise I'm kinda just sitting on my hands waiting for stuff to happen - I need to wait until Friday to have my application to change my residency status reviewed and signed off on so I can take it to Immigration. And then I can apply for my Alien Registration Card. And THEN I can apply for Health Insurance! And get a bank account! And a cell phone! And a discounted student commuter pass! -- To say that a lot of shit is being held up thanks to this one thing is kind of the understatement of the century. I hate the hurry-up-and-wait game :< And I'm SO TIRED of crap-ass upper respitory infections! RAWR!

WE ARE... WE ARE... WE ARE... X!

Went to see X Japan live tonight, at Nissan Stadium in Yokohama... Something I NEVER thought I'd get to do.

I've been into this band forever, and then right as I start getting into them, they split up. This was back in 97 and I was about to become a freshman in high school. And then a year later, my favourite band member, hide, who also had a solo career and so much amazing music that I was completely devoted to, died. I cried bitterly, and helplessly, all night, listening to his song "ever free" and some X tracks on repeat. This is significant, in a way, because I do NOT fawn over bands. I am not a groupie or a fangirl. I don't follow star gossip or any of that kind of thing. But their music, for whatever reason, has always really moved me. And I never thought that I'd get to see them in person.

And let me happily report that the live was AMAZING. I went to the 8/15 showing, the last one in Yokohama (and Japan for now I think). My seat was awesome, right in the center. I could see both the front and rear stages, and all the screens and pyrotechnics and theatrics really, really well. And what SHOWMANSHIP - it wasn't just music, which, by the way, was really really amazing in and of itself, but there was some actual performance involved, and they had such energy. The crowd was great too. Our nearest neighbour was a girl from Taiwan who had come all the way from India to see the concert, and she was so vibrant, nice, and into it, she was really a delight to sit next to. She convinced me to help lead our seating section into a chant of "We Are--X!" for a few minutes. It was really a lot of fun. I was moved to tears a few times but kept it together - my neighbour on the otherside of me wasn't able to though! The girl was BAWLING as the whole crowd sang along with the refrain of "Endless Rain." All I want to do now is break out all my X Japan and hide concert DVDs and watch them. The plus side, is that I believe this live is getting a DVD printed in Fall, and I can't wait to see it again.

TL;DR: omgomg X Japan was cool and I'm a total nerd for them

Minna no Nihongo Chapter 3A Vocab

インタビューする\インタビューする\interview
担当する\たんとうする\be in charge of, be responsible for
アルバイト先\アルバイトさき\parttime workplace
~先\~さき\place
店長\てんちょう\store manager
研修\けんしゅう\training
話し合う\はなしあう\discuss
通勤する\つうきんする\commute to work
これまで\これまで\until now
減らす\へらす\reduce
引っ越す\ひっこす\move house
~か国\~かこく\(number of) countries
家庭\かてい\household, home, family
事情\じじょう\circumstances, reasons
幼稚園\ようちえん\kindergarten, preschool
昼寝する\ひるねする\have a daytime nap
帰国する\きこくする\return to one's home country
来社\らいしゃ\come to visit (a company or office)
新製品\しんせいひん\new product
新~\しん~\new~
発表会\はっぴょうかい\presentation
いつまでも\いつまでも\indefinitely
景気\けいき\economy; business conditions
これ以上\これいじょう\any longer
受ける\うける\receive
要望\ようぼう\request; wish
本当は\ほんとうは\really
おとなしい\おとなしい\quiet, gentle
声\こえ\voice
市民の声\しみんのこえ\voice of the people
しゃべる\しゃべる\chat
振る\ふる\dump, jilt (a boyfriend/girlfriend)
Tシャツ\Tシャツ\T shirt
数\かず\number
切る\きる\hang up

Vocab Lists

Minna no Nihongo, Chuukyuu 1B Vocab List

印象\いんしょう\impression
チェックする\チェックする\check
お住い\おすまい\residence
たたむ\たたむ\fold
重ねる\かさねる\place one on top of the other (stack)
板張り\いたばり\wooden (floor, ceiling, etc)
素足\すあし\without socks; barefoot
使い分ける\つかいわける\use selectively
良さ\よさ\merit; good quality
読み取る\よみとる\understand by reading or scrutinizing
旅行者\りょこうしゃ\traveller; tourist
~者\~しゃ\~er (person)
最も\もっとも\most
非常に\ひじょうに\very; extremely
それほど\それほど\to that extent
代表する\だいひょうする\represent
全体\ぜんたい\whole
敷く\しく\lay (a tatami mat), lay out (futon, cushions)
ちょうど\ちょうど\just right, exactly, just like (as in X is just like Y)
何枚も\なんまいも\many flat objects
つける (名前をつける)\つける (なまえをつける)\apply; give (give a name to)
やまとことば\やまとことば\word of Japanese origin
動かす\うごかす\move (transitive)
組み合わせる\くみあわせる\combine, join together
客間\きゃくま\drawing room; parlour
居間\いま\living room; sitting room
仕事部屋\しごとべや\workroom; study
ワラ\わら\straw
イグサ\いぐさ\mat rush
呼吸する\こきゅうする\breathe
湿気\しっけ\moisture; dampness
取る (湿気を取る)\とる (しっけをとる)\remove (remove moisture)
快適な\かいてき な\comfortable
清潔な\せいけつ な\clean
本文\ほんぶん\main text
一戸建て\いっこだて\detached house
小学生\しょうがくせい\elementary school
日常生活\にちじょうせいかつ\daily life
南太平洋\みなみたいへいよう\South Pacific

Minna no Nihongo, Chuukyuu 1 Kanji Basic List

潔\ケツ; いさぎよ.い\undefiled; pure; clean; righteous; gallant
清\セイ, ショウ, シン; きよ.い\pure; purify; cleanse; exorcise; Manchu dynasty
適\テキ; かな.う\suitable; occasional; rare; qualified; capable
快\カイ; こころよ.い\cheerful; pleasant; agreeable; comfortable
素\ソ, ス; もと\elementary; principle; naked; uncovered
柔\ジュウ, ニュウ; やわ.らかい\tender; weakness; gentleness; softness
硬\コウ; かた.い\stiff; hard
役\ヤク, エキ\duty; war; campaign; drafted labor; office; service; role
取\シュ; と.る, と.り, と.り-, とり, -ど.り\take; fetch; take up
湿\シツ, シュウ; しめ.る, しめ.す, うるお.う, うるお.す\damp; wet; moist
吸\キュウ; す.う\suck; imbibe; inhale; sip
呼\コ; よ.ぶ\call; call out to; invite
乾\カン, ケン; かわ.く, かわ.かす, ほ.す, ひ.る, いぬい\drought; dry; dessicate; drink up; heaven; emperor
的\テキ; まと\bull's eye; mark; target; object; adjective ending
居\キョ, コ; い.る, -い, お.る\reside; to be; exist; live with
組\ソ; く.む, くみ, -ぐみ\association; braid; plait; construct; assemble; unite; cooperate; grapple
具\グ; そな.える, つぶさ.に\tool; utensil; means; possess; ingredients; counter for armor, suits, sets of furniture
由\ユ, ユウ, ユイ; よし, よ.る\why; a reason
枚\マイ, バイ\sheet of...; counter for flat thin objects or sheets
団\ダン, トン; かたまり, まる.い\group; association
布\フ; ぬの\linen; cloth
座\ザ; すわ.る\squat; seat; cushion; gathering; sit
置\チ; お.く, -お.き\placement; put; set; deposit; leave behind; keep; employ; pawn
客\キャク, カク\guest; visitor; customer; client
張\チョウ; は.る, -は.り, -ば.り\lengthen; counter for bows & stringed instruments; stretch; spread; put up (tent)
板\ハン, バン; いた\plank; board; plate; stage
敷\フ; し.く, -し.き\spread; pave; sit; promulgate
派\ハ\faction; group; party; clique; sect; school
全\ゼン; まった.く, すべ.て\whole; entire; all; complete; fulfill
昔\セキ, シャク; むかし\once upon a time; antiquity; old times
表\ヒョウ; おもて, -おもて, あ\surface; table; chart; diagram
化\カ, ケ; ば.ける, ば.かす, ふ.ける, け.する\change; take the form of; influence; enchant; delude; -ization
床\ショウ; とこ, ゆか\bed; floor; padding; tatami
材\ザイ\lumber; log; timber; wood; talent
興\コウ, キョウ; おこ.る, おこ.す\entertain; revive; retrieve; interest; pleasure
最\サイ, シュ; もっと.も, つま\utmost; most; extreme
部\ブ; -べ\section; bureau; dept; class; copy; part; portion; counter for copies of a newspaper or magazine
畳\ジョウ, チョウ; たた.む, たたみ, かさ.なる\tatami mat; counter for tatami mats; fold; shut up; do away with
非\ヒ; あら.ず\un-; mistake; negative; injustice; non-
常\ジョウ; つね, とこ\usual; ordinary; normal; regular
珍\チン; めずら.しい, たから\rare; curious; strange

Minna no Nihongo Chuukyuu 1 Kanji Vocab List (Hooray for Overlaps)

部屋\へや\(n) room
最も\もっとも\(adv) most; extremely
最近\さいきん\(adj-no,n-adv,n-t) most recent; these days; right now; recently; nowadays
最後\さいご\(n) (1) last; end; conclusion; (2) (after -tara form or -ta form followed by "ga") no sooner than; right after (often having negative consequences)
最高\さいこう\(adj-na,n,adj-no) highest; supreme; the most
最低\さいてい\(adj-na,adv,n,adj-no) (1) least; lowest; worst; (2) nasty; disgusting; horrible; yuck!
興味\きょうみ\(n) interest (in something)
畳\たたみ\(n) tatami mat (Japanese straw floor coverings)
畳む\たたむ\(v5m,vt) (1) to fold (clothes); (2) to close (a shop); (3) to vacate
床\ゆか\(n) floor
材料\ざいりょう\(n) ingredients; material
常識\じょうしき (n) common knowledge; conventional wisdom; general knowledge; common sense
非常に\ひじょうに\(adv) very; extremely; exceedingly
日常生活\にちじょうせいかつ\(n) everyday life; daily life
日常\にちじょう\(adj-no,n-adv,n-t) ordinary; regular; everyday; usual
珍しい\めずらしい\(adj-i) (1) unusual; rare; curious; (2) new; novel; (3) fine (e.g. gift)
文化\ぶんか\(n) (1) culture; civilization; civilisation; (2) Bunka era (1804.2.11-1818.4.22)
お化け\おばけ\(n) goblin; apparition; monster; ghost
多様化\たようか\(n,vs) diversification
代表\だいひょう\(n,vs,adj-no) representative; representation; delegation; type; example; model
発表\はっぴょう\(n,vs) announcement; publication
表れ\あらわれ (n) embodiment; manifestation; materialization; materialisation; expression; indication
昔\むかし\(adj-no,n-adv,n-t) olden days; former
全体\ぜんたい\(n-adv,n-t) whole; entirety; whatever (is the matter)
全く\まったく\(adv) (1) really; truly; entirely; completely; wholly; perfectly; (2) indeed; (int) (3) (abbr) good grief (expression of exasperation)
全員\ぜんいん\(n-adv,n) all members (unanimity); all hands; the whole crew; everyone; everybody
全然\ぜんぜん\(adv) (1) not at all (with neg. verb); (2) wholly; entirely; completely
全部\ぜんぶ\(n-adv,n-t,adj-no) all; entire; whole; altogether
安全\あんぜん\(adj-na,n) (1) safety; (2) security
敷く\しく\(v5k) (1) to spread out; to lay out; (2) to take a position; (3) to impose widely (e.g. over a city)
立派\りっぱ\(adj-na,n) splendid; fine; handsome; elegant; imposing; prominent; legal; legitimate
板張り\いたばり\(n) boarding; wooden floor, ceiling, etc
お客さん\おきゃくさん\(n) guest; visitor; customer
客間Pcきゃくま\(n) parlour; guest room
乗客\じょうきゃく\(n) passenger
置く\おく\(v5k) (1) to put; to place; (2) to leave (behind); (3) (uk) to do something in advance (usu. following te-form verb)
位置\いち\(n,vs) place; situation; position; location
座布団\ざぶとん\(n) zabuton (flat floor cushion used when sitting or kneeling)
座談会\ざだんかい\(n) symposium; round-table discussion
枚\まい\(ctr) counter for flat objects (e.g. sheets of paper)
自由\じゆう\(exp,adj-na,n) freedom; liberty; as it pleases you
理由\りゆう\(n) reason; pretext; motive
家具\かぐ\(n) furniture
具体的\ぐたいてき\(adj-na) concrete; tangible; definite; specific
道具\どうぐ\(n) implement; tool; means
組み合う\くみあう\(v5u,vi) to form a partnership or association; to join together; to grapple with
居間\いま\(n) living room (western style)
目的\もくてき\(n) purpose; goal; aim; objective; intention
悲観的\ひかんてき\(adj-na) pessimistic
乾く\かわく\(v5k,vi) to get dry
呼ぶ\よぶ\(v5b,vt) (1) to call out (to); to call; to invoke; (2) to summon (a doctor, etc.); (3) to invite; (4) to designate; to name; to brand; (5) to garner (support, etc.); to gather; (6) (arch) to take as one's wife
呼吸\こきゅう\(n,vs,adj-no) (1) breath; respiration; (2) knack; trick; secret (of doing something)
湿気\しっけ\(n) moisture; humidity; dampness
取る\とる\(v5r,vt) (1) to take; to pick up; to harvest; to earn; to choose; (2) to steal; (3) to eat; to have (a meal); (4) to remove (one's glasses, etc.)
取れる\とれる\(v1,vi,vt) (1) to come off; to be removed; (2) (of pain, a fever, etc.) to disappear; (3) to be caught; to be harvested; (4) to be interpreted (as); to be taken as; (5) (of balance, etc.) to be attained; (6) to be obtainable
取り付ける\とりつける\(v1,vt) (1) to furnish; to install; (2) to get someone's agreement; (3) to patronize; to buy usually from the same store
聞き取る\ききとる\(v5r,vt) to catch (a person's words); to follow; to understand
役に立つ\やくにたつ\(v5t) to be helpful; to be useful
硬い\かたい\(adj-i) (1) hard; solid; tough; (2) stiff; tight; wooden; unpolished (e.g. writing); (3) strong; firm (not viscous or easily moved); (4) safe; steady; honest; steadfast; (5) obstinate; stubborn; (6) bookish; formal; stuffy
柔らかい\やわらかい\(adj-i) soft; tender; limp
素足\すあし\(n,adj-no) bare feet
素晴らしい\すばらしい\(adj-i) wonderful; splendid; magnificent
快適\かいてき\(adj-na,n) pleasant; agreeable; comfortable
清潔\せいけつ\(adj-na,n) (1) clean; hygenic; sanitary; (2) pure; virtuous; immaculate

Minna no Nihongo Chapter 1A Vocab

どのように\どのように\how
迷う\まよう\to lose
道に迷う\みちにまよう\to lose one's way
先輩\せんぱい\senior
まるで\まるで\just (as in 'X' is just like 'Y')
明るい\あかるい\cheerful
性格が明るい\せいかくがあかるい\cheerful personality
父親\ちちおや\father
母親\ははおや\mother
親しい\したしい\intimate; close
湖\みずうみ\lake
目指す\めざす\aim at; have one's eye on
命\いのち\mortal life
お節料理\おせちりょうり\traditional food served during New Year's
初詣で\はつもうで\first shrine visit of New Year
畳\たたみ\tatami
座布団\ざぶとん\square sitting cushion
床\ゆか\floor
正座\せいざ\seiza sitting position
お辞儀\おじぎ\bow in greeting
作家\さっか\writer, author
~中\~ちゅう\while~
留守中\るすちゅう\while out
一杯\いっぱい\full, crowded (stomach, places, containers)
どんなに\どんなに\however; no matter how
立派な\りっぱな\wonderful, grand
欠点\けってん\failing; shortcoming
~過ぎ\~すぎ\past, after, gone
似合う\にあう\suit; look good in
それで\それで\so; therefore
お礼\おれい\thanks; appreciation; reward
ポイント\ポイント\key point
内容\ないよう\contents
聞き取る\ききとる\to comprehend by listening
表現\ひょうげん\expression
迷う\まよう\to be unable to decide
AかBか迷う\AかBかまよう\can't decide between A or B
部分\ぶぶん\part
市民\しみん\citizen
会館\かいかん\assembly hall
市民会館\しみんかいかん\community center
伝統的な\でんとうてきな\traditional
実際に\じっさいに\actually
そういう\そういう\that kind of
普段\ふだん\ordinary; usual
何とか\なんとか\somehow or other
イントネーション\イントネーション\intonation
奨学金\しょうがくきん\scholarship; bursary
推薦状\すいせんじょう\reference; letter of recommendation
交流\こうりゅう\social intercourse (hawhaw)
交流パーティー\こうりゅうパーティー\get-to-know-you party
司会\しかい\presiding over (a meeting; a social event)
目上\めうえ\higher ranked superior
断る\ことわる\refuse
引き受ける\ひきうける\accept

日本語ができますか?

I thought I'd compile a little list here of the different tools I've used - or even some that I've made - for learning Japanese over the years. I'll list websites with links, books with ISBNs and links to Amazon, and I will link you to apps and crap I've compiled for learning Japanese. - I won't be finished this post today because I have a fat happy exam to take tomorrow, but I'd like to get it started at least. Expect it to be finished over the weekend :3

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Tae Kim's Guide to Learning Japanese - This is pretty much all of the essential daily use grammar, explained in English, along with examples for usage. The ONLY fault I can make for Tae Kim's guide is that I'd like more examples for some of the grammar, along with more pragmatics in some of his explanations. Like, when would you use A over B, that kind of thing. I can't really even call it out on those "faults" because as an online textbook and quick reference guide, it's incredibly thorough and concise. It also features a great forum where you can ask questions about Japanese, or just sift through other people's questions and answers. My favourite and most-oft visited forum link is this: Guide to Japanese Transition Words. A totally exhaustive list of the Japanese Conjunction Junction song to help your spoken and written language flow better.

Ah, but you might have noticed that that list is ENTIRELY in Japanese, and uses a lot of kanji! What to do if you can't read it? Rather than the tedious copy and paste dance, I really recommend getting the Firefox Extension Rikaichan. This addon has really increased my reading speed - I can basically understand almost any Japanese text with this addon, and it really does help you learn the reading for kanji you don't know. My recommendation for using Rikaichan is to go to a Japanese blog or newssite you're interested in, and use your mouse to hover over the words and kanji you don't know, and read the full sentence, and translate. Then go back and do it again, this time just reading it in Japanese, using Rikaichan to help you with the readings. Then make a THIRD pass over the sentence, and see if you can read, in Japanese, without assistance. It really will help you improve.

The other "secret" (which isn't really a secret at all) that I use to remember Kanji is that I know what most of the radicals represent! About.com's Guide to Japanese Kanji Radicals and Alan Miller's Guide to Japanese Kanji Radicals are great resources to get you started. So, kanji like 機械 aren't just a mess of lines to me anymore. I see tree, thread, thread, spear, person for the first one, and tree, spear, grass for the second one. I think it's really important to try to understand kanji the same way we understand how a word is formed. If yuo cna raed tihs tahn I tnhik yuo cna laren knaji. It's not just a "picture," it's a sum of its parts, just like words are in the roman alphabet. Being able to understand the parts, and making some conjectures to how they are related to the meaning of the kanji, is completely essential. So 機械 is kikai, meaning machine. It's formed of two kanji, the first meaning mechanism (in both the technical sense and the abstract sense, like, mechanism as a machine, and chance/opportunity being a a mechanism of fate) and the second means contraption. With the parts, tree, threads, spear, and person, you can visualize "mechanism" - tree, because wood would have been the prime material for simple machines like a mill or cart in the old days, threads to represent fine details and connecting parts (or connected to fate if you know the Japanese saying about the red thread), spear gives the sense of something practical and useful, and also imparts the notion that it is something that is weilded by man, who is also represented within the kanji, and machines are what have made man what he is today. The second one is similar in its construction, and can be broken down in much the same way. It seems complicated perhaps at first, but after you get acclimated to the radicals the same way you are acclimated to roman letters and latin roots, it gets easier and easier to remember how to write kanji and also what they mean. The last caveat I have to offer is that you don't need to PERFECTLY understand the radicals. Maybe the radical for grass really looks like a picket fence to you. If you can consistently remember it as the "picket fence" radical, and can logically include that image when you're breaking it down into its parts and attributing the meaning to the sum of those parts, it really doesn't matter WHAT you think the radical is, as long as you can consistently remember it and what it means to you and how that meaning relates to the word.

I should also mention that doing this does help you read kanji as well, because often the reading of the kanji is based on just one or two radicals. Let me give you an example: 効 絞 郊 狡 校 佼 - these kanji all have a different meaning, and yet they all share the same on-yomi reading of "kou" (though the last three have a second on-yomi option, probably from the older go'on yomi reading, of kyou, but they don't deviate from these two options. It's 95% of the time, in a kanji-compound word, only ever going to be read as "kou" or "kyou") and they all have this character, comprised of two radicals, in common: 交 - which is also read "kou." This makes reading Japanese a lot easier than it might seem at first blush. Look for these patterns when you study Japanese. If you notice a relatively simple kanji, and see it being repeated as a part of a more detailed kanji, it could be the key to unlocking the reading of a lot of different kanji compound words.

TO BE CONTINUED...

...What time is it.

It's somewhere between consistent coughing, fever dreams, and general insomnia that I awake - again - and glance blearly at my faithfully ticking computer clock - again - and have my own little melange of bitterness, disappointment, exhaustion, and mild amusement at the fact that it is indeed just as 4AM as I thought it was and I am getting absolutely no sleep this night. To whatever powers that be that insist on keeping me sick for nearly my entire duration at Yamasa, I hope you choke on the multi-techni-coloured variety of pills and iodine gargle that the doctor I saw at the hospital today prescribed to me. An aside note: My penchant for dramatics and purple prose suffers the least of all my features during times of sleep deprivation. Good night - again.

On the importance of being earnest...

Alas, aside from the title, I have no other intentions to make more allusions to Oscar Wilde or theatre for the rest of my post, but we'll see how it goes.

Getting back to the main point, I thought I might dedicate a blog post to the subject of Why am I writing a blog at all, and What do I hope to accomplish.

On the one hand, honestly, I've always wanted to be a writer. My secret little heart of hearts taps away at the tiny keyboard in my mind and offers me up rough drafts for books, plots for movies, jokes for comedy routines, explanations for text books, and so on and so forth. The resultant mess has made brief forays out of my mind and allowed itself to be tasted by others, but eventually, and inevitably, it dries up rather quickly before its been allowed to amount to much of anything, ending up stale, flavourless, and forgotten. This little phenomenon can easily and probably entirely be attributed to a combination of fear and self-doubt. I'm afraid of sounding hackneyed, or trivial, or dull. I'm afraid to be unoriginal or boring. I'm afraid of being disliked. And to cap it all off, I have such little faith in myself that I am just about positive I'll be all of the above. Moreover, I am terrified of what people will think of me if I am honest.

Nonetheless, when I decided I was definitely going to keep a blog at least, I had a drafted set of rules in my mind, and numero uno was that I would have to be honest to a fault on whatever the subject was. I hoped to sort of scare-tactic my brain into production rather than submission, but it's rather had an opposite effect. When I write, I am being honest, but I'm choosing my topics based on how "Safe" I think they are for me to be honest, and I'm writing a lot less than I originally intended to because of it. So I think another approach is in order. I was thinking perhaps I could start keeping a list of topics I would like expand on, no matter how Safe or Unsafe they are (and I am welcome to any suggestions, too, of course), throw them in a hat (or whatever hat-shaped object I have at hand, since there is a woeful dearth of hats in my dorm room), and choose three at random, and then commit to writing on whichever one is speaking to me the most that day. Or something.

Oh, and the reason for keeping a blog on the other hand? It's a safe place for self-indulgent yammering under a thinly veiled guise of keeping in touch with loved ones. Love you guys <3

Well it was bound to happen

I finally managed to get sick, though there's little mystery as to the hows and whys. I had lunch with a classmate one day, where she shared 2 pieces of sushi with me (using the end of the chopsticks she had previously eaten with - a minor faux pas I wasn't even about to quibble about in my endless quest to try to get people to like me, haha), and the next day she was dreadfully sick, blowing her nose all day in class. She sounded pretty bad, and I was worried about her, but the little devil on my shoulder was nonetheless whispering to me that I was next. And the little bastard was right. Fortunately, the morning I woke up sick was a field trip day - going on those is voluntary and not compulsory, and it was mainly just a trip to the Toyota Factory and a Hatcho Miso (a {delicious} special miso around here) factory so I didn't mind it too much. I drank tons and tons of fluids, took vitamins, drank a hot Airbourne "cocktail," and pretty much exclusively ate soup, vegetables, and dango. I slept plenty, and when I woke up the next day...

I was feeling pretty much the same, if not worse. So I ended up missing today too, a class day, which is something I really wanted to avoid. I am going to school tomorrow whether I like it or not, however, I will be courteous and don a surgical mask, which is the in thing to do in Japan when you're sick (or perhaps just having a bad breakout).

I could sum up the grosser parts of this particular illness with one word: loaded. That word itself can apply to so many LOVELY aspects of my current bodily functions, from the metric tons of variably watery to neon green streaked snot I'm producing, to the sheer amount of diarrhea I've had, to the number of times I was so sure I was gonna totally upchuck and have to run to the public dorm toilet (the thought of navigating changing my "bedroom and hall slippers" to the required "toilet slippers" of the bathroom while holding back a maelstrom of barf is somewhat amusing to me anyway) - only to be  (fortunately) disappointed in this last one. Not that I relish frequent random bursts of nausea (with no "pay off" as it were) but I relish barfing in a public place even less. And having to change my shoes to do it, no less, hahaha.

Well, if it weren't already abundantly clear, I am obviously a total perfect lady, so it seems appropriate to also mention that I really like the kanji for diarrhea. It's comprised of two kanji, the first one being "down" or "lower" 下 (read in this case as "ge") and the second one being comprised of mainly two distinct parts, the first one being the radical that signifies sickness (image stolen mercilessly from Jim Breen's Multi-Radical Kanji Look-up)

and the second one being 利, meaning profit, inside the sickness radical, making: 痢 (read as "ri").
So. 下痢. Geri. Lower Sick-profit. If there was ever any wonder previously about why I like studying Japanese so much, let you not wonder anymore. I'm tickled pink by shit (harhar) like this. It seems so apt, really. The porcelain altar as indeed received many an illness-bourne token from down below from me today at least.

And dear, strong-stomached readers, let me leave you on that scatalogical note. Until next time, when hopefully I'll have something more witty and less shitty to say.

I came, I saw, I flew 6000 some miles... (or around 10000 km depending on which ruler you use.)

...And I arrive! Bumped around, mussed up, with questionable hygiene (gotta love those airplane bathroom sponge baths), dog tired, and grinning from ear to ear.

Well, mostly. If we decide to forget the nigh-immediate onset of homesickness, missing one's family, pets, and the daily variety of visiting fauna (what's up, duck(s)?).

Even if you're new to this blog (lol. first post. everyone's new. me included.), you still perhaps were able to conjecture by this point that I have recently gone far away, for a period of indeterminate length (longer than it takes to get a cup of coffee at your local convenience store, but perhaps not as long as it takes to get an iced tall soy chai -with two extra pumps- latte double blended at a certain cafe at 8:30AM). And you'd be right!  //confetti!//

So, yes, I am across the globe, pursuing an international education in Japan, for reasons that, honestly, at times have become unclear to even myself. Sometimes people do something for so long, that they forget why and what they were even doing. I liken it to a lifestyle version of walking from the kitchen to the living room and forgetting what you even wanted from the living room in the first place by the time you get there. You stand there for a moment, just thinking and staring dumbly at your surroundings - you know, a private moment where you quietly commune with your Universe (or just scratch Uranus) - and rather than coming closer to some logical resolution you only get even more confused. I mean, really? What on EARTH would you need from the LIVING ROOM in the KITCHEN? I have to ask myself that question frequently. What on EARTH would I need from JAPAN in order to make a decent living in the US? I don't know. Nothing, I guess. And yet... I've had my heart set on coming to this place and doing this very thing for so long that I don't know what else to do. I don't even remember my feelings or reasons why anymore. So here I am on the streets of Japan, standing in the "living room" so to speak, and staring around me and looking as dumb as ever, wondering what I'm doing here. That, and trying desperately to read half of the words and kanji characters I see.

Well, nah, that's a little over dramatic. I know what I want - in my heart - to get out of my education and experience here. But I am continuously plagued with self-doubt and self-recrimination. Statler and Waldorf are sitting up in the eaves of my head, making a schmuck out of me and my attempts to make a unique and fulfulling life that brings me some kind of happiness and personal wealth. Me? Speak a difficult language fluently? Understand a foreign culture? Make friends despite so many barriers? Get a stable job? HAHAHA.

Oh, and speaking of plagues of the mind, I am certainly not lacking in any amount of debt and guilt I have toward the ones I've left behind. It really wasn't an easy decision to make. But, as it has been wisely said, 'All's fair in love, war, and going abroad.' And, honestly, I do love it - and 'it' can be read as so many different things, from going to college and language school, to learning and comparing languages and exploring new literature, to feeling that super sexy and chic 'je nais se quoi' that comes with being a more "open-minded" and more "globalized" person. And, yes, sometimes I do even feel like I'm waging war (albeit a cold one) on some of what I've left behind.  Frankly, the only way I can even begin to decide to do something like this is to try to shut off - or at least stop-gap - a lot of my feelings about a lot of the people and things I cherish and, yes, also the things I hate - like being given desperate pseudo-sign language for "no" when (*duh* //eyeroll//) I understand at least THAT much Japanese - and the burning shame when someone asks me something relatively simple in Japanese and I can't even answer them properly, or at least not without stuttering. The end result of all this of course is that lingering sense of being adrift and unsure. The "Why am I in the Living Room" syndrome, magnified to life-size and scary as hell, sometimes.


Man, what a drag. I have to somehow save this egocentric bummer-riffic mess with a cheerful, zippy little outro. SO... go ahead and enjoy these baby animal pictures.